The wheels of my truck crunched on snow as I backed out of my driveway with a couple bags of writing supplies, cozy clothes and groceries. I was all of a sudden overcome with pure giddiness. I had the windows down in the freezing cold and no responsibilities for anyone or anything over the next 48 hours. It was a feeling of freedom and spaciousness I had been craving for months, as obligations and responsibilities kept piling up.

#4 in my Year of Epics was a retreat.

By myself.

In the middle of nowhere.

It was January 2022 - the start of a brand new year after 3.5 years of hustling, grinding, experimenting, failing, succeeding, pitching, winning, failing, resetting, trying again, hiring, firing, expanding, contracting, crying, laughing, high-fiving, deep breath, repeat.

In other words, I had been busy building a business.

The business was one I cared deeply about and was incredibly proud of. I had bootstrapped Prismatic, a digital growth consultancy, from $0 to 7 figures of retainer based revenue. I built a million dollar business! I had a stellar team in place, wonderful clients, and even though there were bumps in the road and moments of sheer terror (hello to the entrepreneurs out there!) things were going incredibly well.

But sometimes I couldn’t breathe.

The constant pressure (a lot of it generated internally, by the way) of building a business, raising young children, being present as a spouse, staying engaged in my community, while also making sure I slept, ate and exercised enough to keep me sane had caught up to me. A couple days to slow the spin to gain clarity and hear my own voice was exactly what I needed.

On a call earlier in the week with my professional coach, Ris Higgins, I had told her of this upcoming weekend for deep thinking about my business and the path I was on. After listening, Ris asked if I had ever heard of a “Repot Retreat”. I had not but I was intrigued and asked for more information.

If you and I have done any work together, you know I’m a fanatic for whiteboards and post-it notes to solve problems and cut through complexity. The framing questions for the “Repot Retreat” took the approach I already had in place for these types of business brainstorm sessions to a whole new level. Ris sent me an article she had written several years previously. There was one particular quote in the article that stood out to me:

“Plants need to be repotted at least every two years, I’ve learned. Even if the roots don’t need more room to grow, the old soil should be replaced because all the nutrients have been consumed. We, too, need to consider repotting for growth. When we wilt before the day begins. When we can’t seem to visualize, or dream. When we can’t remember the last time we laughed. When there is nothing in the next twenty-four hours we have to look forward to. When this happens week in and week out, we need to loosen the soil around our souls gently and find something that sparks our imagination, quickens our pulse, brings a smile.”

The line that says “We, too, need to consider repotting for growth” hit home.

I had been charging hard for years. First in my career at Google and battling the imposter syndrome that came along with that world, through the physical feat of a twin pregnancy and then (oh man!) raising twin babies and the humbling job of parenthood, then in making a leap from the safety of a corporate job to become an entrepreneur. I survived a failed business partnership then launched my own firm from ground zero, committed to building it with integrity and the values I deeply believed in. When I reached the $1M revenue milestone with Prismatic I thought I would feel like I had finally “made it”.

Instead, I celebrated for a moment or two (Yay! We did it!), then I fell right back into setting my sights, and my team's sights too, on the next achievement.

When I arrived at the cabin at dusk, I let my family know I had made it and then turned off my cell signal and wifi. I had an email autoreply and a competent team to handle work items, and I didn’t want to be distracted or waste any precious time. I set out my tools which included blank paper, post-its, some nice pens, a coloring book, and my yoga mat and props. I had 3 years of financial info and projections from my business, a handful of insights and advice I had written down from mentors, books, and podcasts, and the list of “Repot” questions passed to me by Ris.

Over the next 2 days I took frigid walks, and wrote. I drank tea and made meals for 1. I became re-energized about what my team and I had created from the ground up, what it had enabled, and where it could possibly go in the future. I also answered questions honestly about what I wanted my own life to look like - in the day to day, in a year, and how I wanted to show up for myself and for others inside *and* outside of the business.

The expansiveness surrounding the beautiful little cabin inspired me to think and feel bigger. There was no one else to bounce ideas off of or compromise with so I could be honest and raw. If there were things that didn’t sound great or even scared me I didn’t have to take action on them - but I had to write them down. I wrote … a lot.

When I packed up the truck for the drive home, I was lighter. I felt like I had taken back some of my own power and direction. I had been able to articulate how I wanted to steer my business instead of letting it control me and my life. I had clarified where I wanted to see the impact of what I pour my heart, soul and time into.

I didn’t start making big changes from that exact moment, but I did hold myself accountable for the truth I was willing to write down that weekend. Looking back now - more than 2.5 years later - I can see clearly that I was taking the first small steps in a big transition I would be embarking on. It was a transition that ultimately led me to pause the successful growth firm that had a clear upward financial trajectory, to take a family sabbatical for a year to reset our pace and priorities, and to make bold moves towards an evolution that I deeply desired but had no idea what form or shape it might take.

A few weeks ago I moved into a beautiful office in downtown Bozeman, Montana with a wall full of windows. I have shifted roles from a coachee of Ris’ to a student. I have the privilege to learn from her as an apprentice through a 1 year program we are engaged in as she makes her own transition from a 35-year career in leadership development and executive coaching.

I now support my own professional coaching clients as they bravely chart their own paths and uncover how to tap into their fullest potential in leadership, performance, growth, entrepreneurship, and the impact they want to have in their own businesses, families and communities.

It has turned out to be exactly the “Repot” I didn’t realize I was mapping out on the floor of that teeny little cabin 2.5 years ago.

Epic #4 : The Repot Retreat

I needed space to breathe.

Epic #4 : The Repot Retreat

I needed space to breathe.

A Year of Epics